Chivalry is almost non existent. I know this is perhaps an archaic term and the reason I know that is because no one knows what it is. It makes me sad that it is no longer practiced. I appreciate that my husband taught my son how to be chivalrous and I hope my girls expect it from their husbands. It is important and NOT archaic. Women still appreciate it, because I hear it from women. As we were leaving a house not too long ago my husband went over and opened the door to the car for me and at the next stop our realtor said, "I have been watching your husband and he is a keeper. Hardly anyone opens the door for women these days." Even if women don't say anything about it, they notice and they appreciate it. Here's a couple more: While walking through the airport you really notice it. About half of the men step back and let women go first and the other half do not. One man was so determined to get on the tram first that he not only went first, he cut in front of quite a few women and edged them out so he could get a prime place on the tram. Not one man gave up his spot holding the rails to the women who had to steady themselves WITHOUT benefit of the rails.
While waiting for my flight to be called there were few open chairs to sit down. Most of the men had them, and one man had plopped himself down on the one open chair and when his wife came over she had to stand beside him, having gone to get him a water. After about 10 minutes he looked up at his PREGNANT wife and said, oh do you want to sit? She looked down and said no that's ok and so he said ok then. What would have been the better thing for him to do? Insist? Get up anyway and say...please I want you to sit....I don't know how he should have done it but he should have. So instead the man sitting next to him moved over and said, please - sit here, and she said thank you and did sit down. Now that was great...but her deadbeat husband never did the same for HIS OWN WIFE. So what caused this problem? Was it us as women who quit expecting it? Is it the women's movement from the 70's that has caused us to put chivalry on the back burner? Do men worry when they offer a chair to a women that she will be offended, so they don't do it any more? Do we as women feel we are being untrue to our fellow sisters by wanting someone to care that we are a woman? Have we as parents forgotten to teach our sons to honor and respect women and have we forgotten to teach our daughters to be grateful that they do?
I, for one, am sad to see it go..I think it is one of those niceties that should never go out of style. I do not feel weak when a man lets me go first, or holds the door, or gives me his seat. I never asked the women's movement to speak for me and kill chivalry.
It does not take much to teach young boys the art of helping a lady. A few weeks ago we were shopping with my grandsons and the oldest, who is four, was wanting me to get him out of the basket and get his car and was quite insistent about it and I turned and said Brayden, we need to wait and help your mommy first. She needs help getting stuff in the car, remember ladies first. I didn't think too much about it until at the next store when we were at the car, Luke wanted out really badly and his brother turned to him and said, Luke wait...ladies first. Now I know my daughter has taught her sons about "ladies first" because I know that Brayden at age four will hold the door for his mother and his grandmother and that is awesome. So all it really needs, all the time they are growing up, are gentle reminders at every turn ---- "ladies first", until one day it will just be instinct. I know she will teach her boys that, because she saw her father always treat me with that same level of respect. He is the ultimate gentleman and he taught our son to be as well and taught our girls to expect it. I cannot even tell you how impressed I am with my children who are everything and more that a mother could want. I am proud to be their mom and wish that the world could see them in action.
Being a strong and independent women does not mean I have to detest the art of chivalry...
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